Diagnosticerat internetberoende

Det är väl känt att internet kan skapa starkt beroende, och att det ibland går helt överstyr. American Psychiatric Association skriver att ”Internet addiction appears to be a common disorder that merits inclusion in DSM-V.” (DSM-V är en förteckning över mentala störningar.) De delar upp beroendet i tre huvudtyper: överdrivet spelande, sexuell sysselsättning, och e-mail/sms:ande.

Men, gänget på Ars Technica har uppmärksammat ett antal andra typer av beteenden och beroenden. Du känner säkert igen dessa:

Comments Derangement Syndrome. When presented with an empty comment form, a controversial topic, and someone who disagrees with one’s position, sufferers of Comments Derangement Syndrome take all social and conversational norms they have ever learned, beat these norms with a club, and stuff them into a black trash bag. Upon stepping away from the computer, most sufferers gently remove the norms from the trash bag, fluff them back into shape, and again become a more-or-less normal human being.

Acute Screen/life Confusion. Often baffling to those of an older generation, acute screen/life confusion results in Internet acronyms, abbreviations, and memes being shouted out to other humans in non-computerized settings. Typical examples: blurting out ”Ell Oh Ell” in response to a joke, yelling ”PWNED!” after beating someone in foosball, or saying to your oddball aunt, ”Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.” (Simpler diagnostic criteria: if it ever appeared on 4chan and you have the desire to say it out loud in any setting, you probably have ASLC.)

LOLpets Disorder. A compulsive need to share pictures of your tabby or pug on social networks. Adding captions may be a symptom of progressive illness, especially if the words descend into LOLspeak. Ars contributor Matt Lasar suffers (badly) from the disease, though he has recently stumbled on a 12-step recovery program which has as its first principle, ”Addiction, i haz it.”

Många andra diagnoser hittar du hos Ars Technica. Om du känner igen dig kanske vi kan få hjälp tillsammans?

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